Who´s Cook?

AGE: 16

MOTTO: Do something, man. Just do something that matters.

This internet shit, man. I don't get it. Millions of fuckin' students bashing away at their keyboards, complaining about stuff. Complaining about what's on telly, and stupid crap like that. Wankers.

Have you seen that fuckin' clip? Those two girls puking in each other's mouths? Sick, man. But it's LIFE, innit? For better or worse, it's real. That's more like it – that's what the internet is for, right?

I'm Cook by the way. Alright?

I'd post that clip – but the computer I'm on, my mates, his parents have put a lock on it to stop looking at porn. That's pretty unreasonable.

I like watching clips of the footy. Mostly that arsehole Lampard being a fat moaning bitch and John Terry bricking it as he prepares to miss yet another crucial-as-shit penalty. Class stuff, man.

There's these sites where you can watch all the American telly. Most of it's shit, like, but there's this show which is just these dudes fucking around with bikes. American Chopper, it's called. I like that one. I like the beards. Shows commitment.

Everyone's doing this social networking stuff. Poking each other and whatever. I'd join – but only to scope out the birds' tits – which is why every other fucker joins up anyway. Plus I'd only have two mates – that'd be the Fredster and JJ. Decent blokes to have about, mind. Freddie – he's cool. SK8R Boi and all that. You know the story. And he's a pretty fuck too. JJ – he's proper mental but his brain could've been designed by Casio, speed he thinks.

This is where I'd normally put all the shit I like, all the bands and footy players and telly I watch and that. Fuck that man. Who gives a shit? Who's got the time to piss around making lists?

FAVOURITE BAND: Toots and the Maytails, Trojan Reggae

T.V. SHOWS: The Shield

FILM STARS: Paddy Considine, Danny Dyer

DREAM DATE: Princess Diana

FAVOURITE WEBSITES: www.rathergood.com

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