Fic: Running Nowhere (chapter 3)
Miss Peg
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Running NowhereBy Miss Peg
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, would be a good birthday present though?!
Three
Trying to hide from Emily and Cook was almost the hardest thing Katie had ever had to do. The only thing to top it was taking the pregnancy test earlier in the day. She dazed her way through her lessons, listening carefully, distracting herself enough to not think about the thing growing inside herself. Yet not focusing enough to the point of remembering anything.
'Katie?' a voice called out to her as she walked between lessons.
It made her jump, made the words of the song that was running through her head stop and the thing she’d been distracting herself from hit her like a ton of bricks all over again. It didn’t help that her sister’s other half was stood in front of her.
'Naomi, hi,' she replied, standing awkwardly.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like Naomi, she'd come to realise that it wasn’t her who was the problem, it was the situation. If Naomi hadn’t been keeping Emily busy, giving her a life where Katie had no uses, then maybe she wouldn’t be so bad. They had laughed together at Pandora’s party that time after all, maybe she wasn’t a complete hippy loser.
'Is Em alright?' the blonde asked, her bottom lip disappearing under her other one, something Katie had seen her do a few times. The question made her feel uncomfortable. She knew that Emily had kept her promise, had done everything she could not to tell Naomi about it even though she obviously told her everything. The only trouble was, Emily was never very good at hiding things. Most things anyway.
'She's fine,' Katie whispered, wondering how her voice had become so tiny.
Naomi’s eye narrowed, her blue orbs which were similar to Cook's in colour were actually quite concerned. Katie shrugged her shoulders, as though that would help her cause. It didn’t and probably never would stop the overwhelming urge to cry.
'Are you okay?' Naomi asked, not taking her eyes off Katie for a moment.
Katie nodded, couldn’t even speak when she looked back into Naomi’s eyes. She pushed her lips tightly together, rolling her eyes upwards in an attempt to push away the tears that were hovering on the surface. Naomi’s arm came down to her shoulder, resting against her skin. Katie stared at it, frowning at the act of kindness coming from the girl she'd never shown anything back to.
'I knew this wasn’t about Em,' Naomi muttered, sliding her arm through Katie’s and pulling her into an empty classroom.
'I’m fine, just fuck off, you dyke,' Katie snapped, regretting it instantly. There was no reason to be horrible, it just seemed to come out.
‘Christ, whatever. What's going on?'
No matter how hard Katie tried to keep it to herself, the girl staring at her with concerning eyes and a soft smile, that actually made her feel very comfortable, was making it very difficult to not share. Emily knew not to tell anyone, but that also meant she couldn’t talk about it with the one girl she would feel she could. Katie bit her lip a little too hard, loosened the bite before staring back at Naomi.
'I, I’m, I made a mistake,'
'What kind a mistake?' Naomi asked, rubbing her arm as a number of tears fell.
'The fucking up my life kind,' Katie sighed. 'I can’t say it.'
Telling Emily had been easy, she hadn’t had to speak. All she did was hand over the test and everything was revealed. Now Naomi was wanting answers and she couldn’t say it. She wanted to, she didn’t know why, but she did. She just couldn’t.
'It's okay,' Naomi smiled, looking at her as if to say it didn’t matter because she didn’t need to know.
'No, I need to,' she whispered.
Naomi’s fingers pawed for her hand, clutching it tightly between both of hers. Katie frowned again, stared down at the hand sandwich. She'd never understood why people held other people's hands when they were upset. But the feel of someone else’s touch made her feel at ease, comforted.
'Remember the last time we were alone in a classroom together?' Katie muttered, wondering where the thought came from.
Naomi began to chuckle, which made Katie laugh a little too. It wasn’t funny really. They’d had a fight, she’d given Naomi a really hard time. It was hardly a comedy moment of the decade.
'I kicked your arse.'
Naomi raised an eyebrow, 'I think you’ll find that I kicked your arse.'
'Sure, if that's what you want to believe.'
'You're the one who won’t admit the truth,'
'Which truth?' Katie whispered, sniffling back her tears and wiping her eyes with her free hand.
'Whichever truth you can’t admit,' Naomi muttered, rubbing the back of Katie’s sandwiched hand.
'Just fuck off, yeah?' Katie sighed, staring down at her hands, which she quickly pulled away, wondering how her fingers were not shaking when they had been for so much of the day.
Slipping from nice Katie into bitch Katie seemed to be very easy, so much so that she regretted it. Naomi looked disappointed. For once they’d shared a conversation like adults, they’d acted more like friends than enemies and all Katie could do was ruin it.
‘I don’t need your fucking sympathy,’ Katie snapped, staring Naomi down until the blonde nodded her head.
Naomi rolled her eyes, ‘Jesus, guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more than bitch from you.’
‘I said fuck off,’ Katie retaliated.
One of the only people who actually seemed to care about her and she couldn’t even say thanks in return. Katie watched as Naomi left the room, felt her heart break as the door closed behind her. It was too much, the thought of something growing inside of her was too painful. She couldn’t handle it. The thought of being alone was even harder, until she realised she wasn’t alone and might never be alone again. Tears streamed down her face and she began to sob, thick sobs that controlled her body. The room began to fill with people. She rushed for the door until she was out in the corridor again, choking on tears.
*
‘Want one?’ Cook asked, making Katie jump.
She’d left the college, headed for the entrance because there was nowhere else to go where she would be alone, except the toilets. Katie figured the fresh air would help, had always remembered people on television or relatives talking about getting some fresh air, like it was a bloody miracle worker. The only trouble was the air was less than fresh and though almost everyone was in lessons, there was one person who certainly wasn’t.
‘I’m fucking pregnant, you bastard,’ she screamed out, stepping forwards so that she could hit him hard across the chest.
Cook seemed shocked, taken aback by the news. He apologised profusely, stubbing out his cigarette before wrapping his arms around her. She wasn’t sure why she’d told him, so quickly too. The deliberation over whether to tell Naomi was drawn out, yet Cook hadn’t even asked and she’d told him everything in a few small words.
‘How?’ he muttered, stroking the back of her head.
There was a way that Katie’s dad always comforted her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and stroking her back until her tears subsided and she were ready to talk. Katie pushed her face into Cook’s chest, wondered how it felt so familiar when it wasn’t even the same as when her dad did it. It was different, but it still felt like the safest place on Earth. She reached around his back, gripping tightly to his shirt until her fingers ached. Eventually the tears slowed and Cook’s question still lingered.
‘I’m always careful,’ she cried, not pulling away, not wanting to remove herself from his arms.
Cook shrugged, ‘Could it be mine?’
‘Maybe.’
He pulled away, pushed her out of his arms until she was forced to let go. It felt cold and daunting out in the open, without the close contact. She didn’t even fucking like Cook, she didn’t understand why she was missing his body. She wondered if it was some weird effect of pregnancy.
‘Could it be his?’ Cook asked again, not even needing to say Freddie’s name for her to know.
Katie nodded. ‘You’re the only two.’
A small smile curled onto Cook’s face and he cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears until her face was dry. He leant down, lowering himself the few inches to her height and pushing his face close to her own. She could smell the cigarette on his breath, mixing with a sweeter smell that she’d remembered the morning she woke up in Cook’s bed. It was nice, familiar. It reminded her of a happy morning, where something so horrible with Freddie had turned into something she never imagined would feel so right. Not that she’d ever admitted it to Cook, or herself really.
‘Whatever you want to do babe, I’ll be here, alright?’
There was a look in Cook’s eyes, they weren’t frightened or worried like Katie felt, they weren’t even confused. He looked sure, he looked more confident than Katie had ever felt in her entire life. She let her lips curl at the edges as she nodded her head, allowing him to pull her back into a gentle embrace, sending her back into that safe space which she’d come to realise was the only place she wanted to be.
Labels: Gossip , Kathryn Prescott , Skins
